Sunday, 19 April 2015

Respect - due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others

We hear a lot of talk in the rugby community about how football is such a terrible sport due to the actions of their fans, and how they treat each other, the players and the officials with constant disrespect. We pride ourselves on being 'gentlemen' (or women, of course) in rugby, but is this true in reality? Respect is a huge part of the game, and for as long as I can remember this has been upheld by all rugby fans and players alike. I have some great memories where fans from opposite clubs have been nothing but cordial and polite to one another – an example that really sticks in my mind is from back in 2011 when Northampton Saints played Leinster in the Heineken Cup Final at Cardiff. It's safe to say Saints fans were pretty despondent when the match finished, but as a group of us were stood waiting to get on the coach some Leinster fans who were walking passed all stopped and shook hands with us, telling us it was a great match and we played really well. They didn't get anything out of doing that, but they did so anyway and it was actually a really lovely moment which lifted our spirits somewhat. But as the seasons go on I find respect is lacking more often than not.


A prime example of where respect seems to go out the window is when kickers step up to the tee. It's a long standing tradition that, when a player attempts a penalty or a conversion, you stay respectfully silent. Indeed, in many venues the words 'respect the kicker' flash throughout the stadium as a reminder. But what we are seeing far too frequently is the fans taking it upon themselves to make the most amount of noise possible as an attempt to put the kicker off. For starters, it never works, so you're wasting your breath. And second, it's just downright rude. I would have to say, on the whole, it's a French rugby problem, but it's creeping into the English game too and is not something I for one like to see. What makes it even more infuriating is that the same fans who just booed the opposition kicker have the audacity to then call out the other teams' fans for doing the exact same thing. You cannot have it both ways, so how about everyone just stays quiet? It is only for 90 seconds maximum and really is not difficult to do.

There also seems to be the emergence in rugby recently of the phrase 'you don't know what you're doing', amongst other ways to disrespect the officials. Now, I myself have been frustrated at referees on numerous occasions, but I would never stoop so low as to use that phrase, or any other, in order to heckle. It doesn't achieve anything, as the officials know how to ignore it, but this does not excuse it and it makes fans look sour and ungracious, particularly if things are not going the way of their team. People make mistakes, that's life, and referees are no different. Okay, sometimes they do something so glaringly wrong you're in disbelief, but to ref a game in front of thousands of people is no easy thing, no matter how long they've been doing it and how good they supposedly are. To then chastise someone for doing their job in a derogatory manner makes you yourself look bad, rather than reflecting negatively on the referee. It's all fine and dandy to claim the referee is wrong when you are not the one doing it, but I guarantee if you took to the field and were put in charge of the whistle you'd be way out of your depth. The same goes for how you talk to fans on match days – if a decision does not go your way, what use is there in being rude to those around you? It isn't their fault, and it means more often than not that a sweeping generalisation is applied to all fans of a team simply because of the minority's actions. I do not want to be seen in a negative light just because you could not keep your mouth shut. I would much rather be judged on my own actions and not yours.

All rugby teams have their traditions, whether that be banging a drum or even the slightly strange finger waggling the Saracens fans do (I have never known why they do it, but if someone does please let me know), but at the end of the day who is anyone to judge them for that? A lot of fans on social media these days complain about how people show their support, particularly when it does come to the banging of drums. Simply put, if you find them loud and annoying do not go to a match where you know it will occur. Many people claim it can ruin the match atmosphere – do not forget you aren't the only fans in attendance, and for some it actually adds to it. Personally, I am quite a fan of the drums and I think it's a great way to make a lot of noise. But if you choose to go and watch a match where the fans will have drums, you have no right to then come back and complain about it, especially if it is at another team's home. As I did mention social media, there's another big point I want to bring up – don't abuse fans, players, referees or, in fact, anyone online. I know a lot of you will say it's only the 'keyboard warriors' or those people who aren't proper rugby fans that do this, but I can assure you plenty of proper rugby fans do this on a regular basis. Frankly, if you can't express a point without being rude, then don't bother because no one is interested. Social media is a great forum for debate, there is no doubting that, but the sheer rudeness with which people claim to be right shocks me. People have their opinions, and the beauty of debating is that they won't always align with your own. It allows you to actually converse with people and really get stuck in, so please do go about this politely. As I have said before, it's not difficult. To sink to name-calling is rather pathetic, and people then won't care what you have to say.

I feel like I should end on a positive point, because this has been a really negative, yet truthful, post. Respect is still there, and I am not for one second suggesting rugby has completely descended into football-like behaviour. For the most part, fans are polite to one another, and I love the fact that I get on with people from all different clubs. At the end of the day, the sport is not worth arguing with people over – it is meant to bring people together, not create a chasm between fans of different clubs. Of course, people are really passionate about rugby, and they should be because it's a great game, but wouldn't we all rather watch in harmony, and not discontent, with each other? No matter how frustrated you get, you should always remember every fan has felt the exact same at one point. That's the beauty of rugby – it forges bonds out of sheer delight and also sheer despair because we have all been through it. We are all the same in our love of the sport, so why not use it in a positive way by showing respect for everyone involved? Don't forget, if you have any comments post them below!

Thanks for reading ruckers,
Jess.


Twitter: @JessKebbell @RuckMeGently
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